Dance

The geodes whirl in their demographic sphere
As lights caress the essences of fire and of air
Muscles tense, she waits in graceful anticipatory flux
For the first heartbeat to bring a life to deathly silence

Emotions float gracefully from limb to limb
A sensuous up-sweep, a stumble, a plea
The surreal wisp of fabric over skin
A stretch of leg, a lift of chin, the dance begins.



Shadow Ocean
2000

Orchesis Dance Company - 2001

Democracy

Trussed by the magnanimous
                        beast of hierarchy,
The microscopic influence
                       of the masses distorted,
Chained and bound by dismissal
                       of the higher minds,
Through the silencing powers
                      of a few inconsequential bankbooks.



Shadow Ocean
2000

Time

There are not enough hours in the day
Nor restfulness in sleep
To revive this metabolic heap
Or artistic misinterpretation
A manifestation
Of time and space and function
Of so much to do, so little
Time to rest and reflect
The effort to hold the head up
Is the weight upon your shoulders
The chip
That weakens the infrastructure of the soul
And shatters the mass of mis-spoken thought
Into a fragmentary cry
For freedom



Shadow Ocean
2000

Alone

The heavy hearted raindrops
              make their kamikaze run
              on my umbrella
Smoke and ashes lift away
              upon the breeze
The light from the doorway
              silhouettes a solitary
              figure in the shadows
              of the trees
No thoughts but of loneliness
No touch but my own
No kiss but my dying cigarette
The feeling of alone



Shadow Ocean
2000

Goddess

(Created entirely of refrigerator magnet words)

glisten in the blush of her perfume
the gentle fever of exploring
the dark wine of passion
as candles kiss the pale skin
          of her neck

an overbearing creature
        snuggles in his bed

my angel
flickers darkly
as through a soft flame

dear heart
you laugh
your smile
a sensuous sun god

celebrate morning or miss evening
each is like the last rose
stuck on an ocean moon
could he live in my wave?



Shadow Ocean
2000

The Houseplant

Outward and over
The prehistoric shade
              of the most colossal beast
              reduced now to the least.


Shadow Ocean
03-16-2000

The Throne

This chair
            has been the seat of many
            warm bodied creatures
            high in my regard
I curl myself within it
The brown and gold stripes
           mingle with my hair.



Shadow Ocean
03-16-2000

Front Step

As I sit amongst you
          ghostly streets of silence
And measure from my stair
          how many quiet miles beyond me
           lay unfolded like a road map
          of tiny names
           and pathways unexplored
I turn and face the comforts
           of a warm embracing light
           and journey not
            into the cold unfettered night.



Shadow Ocean
03-16-2000

For Too Long

For too long
I've waited to find love
And now that I have it
How can I let go?
For too long
I didn't know the truth
And now that I've found it
How can I let go?

I never realized
You were the blue in my skies
Or the red of the sunset in the trees
The words I long to say
As I watch you drive away
And the sunlight slowly fades
Please don't leave me

For too long
I've waited for a chance
And now that I've got it
How can I let go?
For too long
I've waited for your love
And now that I have you
How can I let go?



Shadow Ocean
2004

Simple Truth

The simple truth
         of my untold love for you
                         is rare
Once found
        too precious to return
                        to priceless to replace
But you must know
        that it is yours alone
And live
          without the fear
                         that harbors greed
I come to you
       a jagged peak of woman
                  eroded by the heavy hand of nature
                            and circumstance
Would you, like the water
         soften and polish the rough edges
                   and wash away the circles
                             that pool beneath my eyes?
Let us flow together
         the ocean and the sky will teach us how
                   and sleep in the warm embrace
                             of simple truth.



Shadow Ocean
2004

Song Sestina

The sestina follows a strict pattern of the repetition of the initial six end-words of the first stanza through the remaining five six-line stanzas.


We sing a solo song
No one provides the harmony
To compliment our single note
Or establish a surrounding chord
But we produce the melody
And measure out each phrase

In the passing of the phrase
The solitude becomes a song
A beckoning melody
Encouraging the harmony
To join and form a chord
To comfort the lonely note

But when we hear each note
As separate from the phrase
The underlying chord
Forms a universal song
Deep and rich in harmony
Detached from a single note

And the overlying melody
Which changes with each note
Provides a greater harmony
Than words could ever phrase
As we all join the great song
Beyond the final chord

And as that chord
Resolves, and the melody
Is ended, the song
Reaches further than a mere note
Ever could, and each resounding phrase
Rings with angelic harmony

The glorious harmony
Of knowing that the chord
Was always present, and the phrase
Established for us long before the first melody
Was ever conceived, and the first note
Ever added to the song.


Shadow Ocean
2003

Unfathomable

Never is
          as strong a word
                      as forever
Alluding to an infinity
         of time and space
                     unfathomable
Deep and wide as the universe
         expanding and contracting
                    through eternity
                               unchanged.

There is nothing in the world
          that I have never done
                      at least once
                              in the infinite
         expanses of the mind
                     unfathomable
Deep and wide as the universe
         expanding and contracting
                    through conceptions
                               of the unknown.

Forever is
          as strong a word
                      as never
Alluding to an infinity
         of time and space
                     unfathomable
Deep and wide as the universe
         expanding and contracting
                    through eternity
                               unchanged.

There is no one in the world
          that I could ever love
                      so truly
                              in the infinite
         expanses of my soul
                     unfathomable
Deep and wide as the universe
         expanding and contracting
                    and encompassing
                               us both.

Love is
          as strong a word
                      as forever
Alluding to a union
         of heart and soul
                     unfathomable
Deep and wide as the universe
         expanding and contracting
                    through eternity
                               unchanged.


Shadow Ocean
2003

Mother

Mother
I see you in my heart
Although I've never met you
And I don't know who you are

Mother
The years have flown away
I'd walk away unknowing if
I saw your face today

I lived in you
You live in me
Alone and lost without you
              for eternity

Your tainted blood
Flowed through my veins
But we will never even know
             each other's names

Mother
Now I'm a mother too
How can I ever understand the things
                that you went through

Your baby girl
That once was me
Alone in isolation
                 and uncertainty

Mother
This gift of life
I've blessed you for a thousand times
            throughout my strife

The years of doubt
I've muddled though
I'd wash them all away to spend
            a day with you

I pray to God
Whose face you hide
To see you waiting for me on
           the other side

I lived in you
You live in me
You closed the door between us and
                you set me free


Shadow Ocean
2017

You're No Good

I can't wrap my head around it
I lose it just when I think I've found it
Push back and I walk away
Pull in and I have to stay

If I wanted you wrapped around my finger
                 then I would
If I wanted to let it linger
                 then I could
Bet you thought you were a ringer
                 understood
Well hold on, here comes the zinger
             you're no good

You're no good to me
You're no good to me, oh
You're no good for me
You're no good for me, oh

I can't get accustomed to it
The feeling that I just blew it
And threw all my dreams away
The minute I let you play

If I wanted you wrapped around my finger
                 then I would
If I wanted to let it linger
                 then I could
Bet you thought you were a ringer
                 understood
Well hold on, here comes the zinger
             you're no good

You're no good to me
You're no good to me, oh
You're no good for me
You're no good for me, oh



Shadow Ocean
2017

Garden Burger

Lettuce
Tomato
Bun
Mayo
Mustard
Pickles
Substitute meat
Meat substitute



Shadow Ocean
2000

Acculturation

I want to be you
I want to know your pain
I want to see you
I want to wipe this stain
               from off my past

Hold you to me
Hear your stories
Praise your glories
Cast away the shame

I want to give you
All of the things you were denied
I want to live through
All of the tears you may have cried

I know the true
And I don't recognize the lies
I see right through you
I do not notice your disguise



Shadow Ocean
2000

Musings

The last thing that I feel today
is visionary, work and play
have filled my mind with base distractions
and tempered all my gut reactions.
It would require an incredible
event or trauma to affect my mind
and so I leave the task behind
in search of something edible.

A friendly crow perched on a tree
regards my dinner cordially
and lacking interest, he flies
a floating freckle on the sky's bright face
as people come and go
around my table as I eat,
they fill and vacate every seat,
a steady constant flow.

I wonder if they notice me
sitting, writing poetry,
immortalizing with my words
the simple scene, the passing birds,
the blackened pavement winding by
permeated by the heat,
and noises from the busy street
beneath the clouded sky.


Shadow Ocean
2000

Delusional

Sleepy boy
 Yawns his feelings
Semi-conscious
Self-aware
Where?
Somewhere in there
              beneath rumpled skin
                            and hair
The only one who hears you
              is you
Who would want to wake up
              and be delusional?
It depends on what your definition
             of delusional is.



Shadow Ocean
1999

Tomorrow

Tomorrow
              is another day
in which I will accomplish
              much
              but do very little
              of consequence
to average
              people's lives.
The world will meet
             under the drum
             and beat
             the victory
              in.



Shadow Ocean
1999

Brownies

Smell good
           from the kitchen.
I know
           their little
           forbidden
                             secrets
          hidden
                             deep within
                             their
                             dark
                            chocolate
                            skin



Shadow Ocean
1999

Go Home

I don't wanna go home
I just wanna stay away
I'll just stay in my room
I'll just stare at my plate

I don't wanna hear their lies
I don't wanna face the truth
I don't wanna go home
And I don't know what to do

It's not worth living for
It's not worth dying for
And I don't know what to do
I'm only happy next to you

I don't wanna go home
But I don't know where to go
I don't wanna be alone
But it's the only life I know

They know how to break the glass
That protects my shattered heart
I don't wanna go home
But I don't know where to start

It's not worth living for
It's not worth dying for
And I don't know what to do
I'm only happy next to you


Shadow Ocean

1996

Run Away

Mother said I'd never go
Drive on, drive on
She doesn't seem to realize
We'll all be dead someday anyway

Silent as the Earth that flows
Into the deep pool of the sky
Drive on, drive on
Time to say goodbye to this melodrama

Mother holds me in her arms
Blowing wishes over my shoulder
I see the moon and the moon sees me
Goodnight moon

Silent as the light that burns
From your fingertips to mine
Drive on, drive on
Death says live while you may, for I am coming

Run away with me tonight
Run away with me tonight
Everything will be alright
Run away with me tonight

We can leave it all behind
Pop the clutch and turn the key
Drive on, drive on
Run away with me


Shadow Ocean
1996

Stuck In A House

When I was young I never needed anyone
but now I'm older and I'm wiser than my years.
When I grow old I will be living all alone
but now I'm younger and I'm hiding from my fears.

Stuck in a house all alone without you
Stuck in a house all alone

When I'm alone I'm by myself I'm on my own
And I am thinking of you everywhere I turn
When I'm with you I have a consciousness of life
Here's a match come on let's watch the bridges burn

Stuck in a house all alone without you
Stuck in a house all alone

When I was young I never needed anyone
But I was wrong
All alone without you



Shadow Ocean
1996

Earth Again

Hey, looking at you now
I can't remember how
I ever lived without your smile

Hey, I really think it's time
We listened to the chimes
And came back down to Earth for a while

Hey, where do I begin
Come back down to Earth again

Hey, I look at you today
I don't believe there'll ever be a time
When we have nothing more to say

Hey, I can read the signs
Everything is fine
Yeah I can tell that everything will be okay

Hey, where do I begin
Come back down to Earth again



Shadow Ocean
1996

Fire and Ice

There's fire in your eyes
Fire in your hair
Fire in your heart
And I wonder, do I dare
To be the one to quench the flame
DO I make it my concern
Be the one to ease the pain
Play with fire and get burned

There's an ocean in my eyes
A snowfall in my skin
A feeling in my heart
That you'll always be my friend
I'll be the one to quench the flame
I will make it my concern
You'll be the one to ease my pain
And I know I won't get burned
Fire and ice.



Shadow Ocean
1995

Codependant

I cannot stand alone
I must lean on you
Don't leave me
Why must you go?

You are my fortress
And I am inside
But you crumble
And I fall
Crushed
I am nothing on my own

I have tried to be a temple
But built on shifting sands
I need your cool waters
To hold me together

Build me a sandcastle
And wash it away
You let go
And leave me hanging out in space
A star in the multitudes
Lost without you


Shadow Ocean
1994

Promise

When you took my hand
You took my heart
And when you touched me
Your touch tore me apart

Through the nights
I've lain there crying
You were the only thing
That kept me from dying

I wrote you a letter
I wrote you a song
They can't hold me back forever
I'm coming, it won't be long



Shadow Ocean
1994

In The Night

Do I exist?
Do you see me?
Do you know I'm there?
I can feel you in the night

Do I remind you of the time?
Do I know? Do I care?
I can feel you in the night

I run and hide in my outside
I place myself behind a mask
              of something else
No one knows, do you know?
I can feel you in the night.



Shadow Ocean
1994

Loss

What's the power of one?
What's the power of two?
There's no life in this heart
If it's life without you

How can I face the day?
How can I face the night?
How can you dare to say
It'll all work out right

Who's to say what is found
Who's to say what is lost
Who's to question my fears
As I measure the cost

It is sure that I suffer
For my folly I pay
He is gone, he is gone
There is no more to say



Shadow Ocean
1994

Dust

We are the dust beneath your feet
Hush, your kind isn't wanted here
Don't look up, don't look them in the eye
Unless you want another bruise

We are the dust beneath your feet
We are trodden upon by heavy souls
Heavy and empty and cold

We are swept into the corner
               Under the rug
Get it out of sight
               Pretend it isn't there

You will become the dust someday
How dare you call yourselves the elite
We sit and watch your slow decay
Ashes to ashes, and to the dust
              Like us.



Shadow Ocean
1995

What You're Doin'

Smile at me, do you know what you're doin'
Don't you see, you don't know what you're doin'
Look at yourself, what do you see?

Make a wish, do you know what you're sayin'
On your knees, don't you know what you're prayin'
Look in my eyes, what will it be? Are you free?

Captivated, mesmerized
Lost at sea in your beautiful eyes
No one moves and no one dies
Love, will you turn the key?

Take a ride, do you know what you're doin'
Deep inside, don't you know what you're doin'
Caught by surprise, what do I see? I see me.



Shadow Ocean
1994

1984

There's no place to hide this pain
Disillusioned questioning reality
I've got my rose colored glasses
I'm only here cause there's no better place to be

Be real careful what you say
The phones have more ears than you know
Too many questions, not enough answers
What's behind the door of your room 101?

They are out to get us
They will force you to agree
You will have no choice, no voice at all
They will blind you til you see

They are out to get us
They are making me paranoid
Wave to the cameras, little girl
Wake me up when this is over



Shadow Ocean
1995

Pat's Song

Screw fields of gold
Screw the fairy tales
You've got the ring, she's got the finger
Go ride into the sunset, golden boy

Let's go running through a field of grass
Ride the big yellow bus
We're older, know better
Nothing can stop us

Find your pretty lady
Need your dress up doll
You've got yours, I've got mine
Everything's gonna work out fine in time

Let's go running in a field of grass
Play in white sands on the beach
All that's just barely out of reach
Nothing can stop us.


*For Pat Winslow
Shadow Ocean

1996

Shell Shocked

Where are we going? Where have you been?
Lost in an empty room, don't try to win
Murder your instincts, dulling the pain
Blowing the ashes away looks like rain

Empty skies
Dead butterflies
Hit like a lightning bolt from the
Blue hair, blue lips, blue nails, blue skies
Fly, butterfly

Finger the trigger, needle the cross
How can you find it if you are what's lost
Put on your makeup, put on a smile
Block out the nightmare, it'll help for a while

Empty skies
Dead butterflies
Hit like a lightning bolt from the
Blue hair, blue lips, blue nails, blue skies
Fly, butterfly
Shell shocked butterfly



Shadow Ocean
1996

Tonight

What do you see behind those cold eyes?
Did it really have to be this hard?
Looking for something that you never thought was lost
Hey, you're taking things too far

Maybe I ought to try to understand you better
Maybe the effort should be mine
Maybe this two way street's a bullsh*t deal
Maybe it all will work out fine

So give me a kiss goodnight
And see me out the door
Take a good look
To keep you warm at night

What do you see behind the curtain?
Does it really have to be this blind?
Looking for an answer to your insecurities
Sure you want to leave it all behind

Maybe I ought to leave now darling
Did it really have to be like this?
Didn't take long for you to throw it all away
Broken so you'll never get it fixed

So give me a kiss goodnight
And see me out the door
Take a good look
To keep you warm at night
Take your last look
To keep you warm
Tonight



Shadow Ocean
1996

Skyscape

The ardent lull of evening
Wrapped in regal shades of sundown
A sea of windswept whitecaps
Swirling into a bright abyss

Cradled softly in the arms
Of sihouetted arbor statues
Resplendent in purple and rose
Tender like a lover's kiss

And falling to the Mother's breast
Fading in the last bird song of summer
As the revenent tones of the nebulous sea
Gently sink into eternal bliss



Shadow Ocean
1996

Empty Beach

Misery
Once a lover of company
Solitude
Silence of eternity
Sandwashed days
And wind swept nights
Rushes
And driftwood memory
Stormy skies
Seagull cries
Seafoam washed on the beach to die
Abandoned castles
In the sky
Misery
Eternity
And I.




Shadow Ocean
1996

Teenage Anthem

I just want my freedom
Freedom of expression, of choice, of voice
I will not stay silent
I will not do as I'm told
I will not fade into the multitudes
Another face without a name

I am a square peg
            But you have only round holes
I would rather stick out
Than let you shave away pieces of me
            To fit your mold

I just want my freedom
My right to choose, to fight, to live
I will not stay silent
The world will remember me.



Shadow Ocean
1997

Anywhere

I don't like it here
But I'd rather be here than anywhere
Today is too hard
                             too silent
                             too empty
I don't need to smile
             It's not inside
                            What's the point?
Too many people
            Caring
                            In all the wrong ways
Talking about petty things
I don't want to be here
But I'd rather be here than anywhere


Shadow Ocean
1997

Everthing and Nothing

I had everything and nothing
Glory lost, never to be found
It must have been cold there in your shadow
I don't recall

Love sees everything and nothing
Love is blind to the losses
The way the light reflects upon your hair
The way the smile you gave me
                   fills my heart with laughter
I don't recall till after
How much I could have known
I had everything and nothing
And now I'm all alone

Love sees everything and nothing
Everything that's beautiful
Nothing that is true
Love is blind to what is lost
When I give my love to you.




Shadow Ocean
1997

Finding You

Finding you in ecstacy
Finding you in agony
I find you by my side
                    to comfort me
You are my God
                     my light
My darkness
                     my night
Where do I find you?



Shadow Ocean
1996

3:00 AM

Empty
So empty and cold
Staring at the wall
At pictures in my head
And I wonder
Behind my wandering eyes
Will you cry for me
When I'm dead

Staring at the wall
Running till I fall
                 In love with myself
Shadows dance across my mind
Chained until I find
                 My way home.



Shadow Ocean
1997

Internal Injury

Do I need to be broken?
Do I need to be crucified?
Do I need to be choking
               on the blood that I try to hide
F#ck them
I don't need it
F#ck you
You're making me bleed

Do I need this Sh#t?
You f#cking hate me
Do I need to be choking
              on the blood you're too blind to see
F#ck you
I don't need you
F#ck it
I'm tired of this


Shadow Ocean
1997

Ashe

A single white petal
A purple bud
Floating in a sea of red

Touch me
Hold me close
Let the night unfold around us
Let the rain wash over me
Take me away from this

Can't see your makeup
                 For the circles beneath your eyes
Will I ever be warm again in your arms?

Let the world collapse around me
In a haze of smoke
Let them burn out
As I fade away.


Shadow Ocean
1997

Addict

So I'm addicted to you
Enough to lose you in everything beautiful
You are the perfect drug
So take two and wake me in the morning
Don't bother to call

So I'm addicted to you
Enough to lose everything just to have you
My life is over
But the fun's just beginning

Who says I can't have it all?
Who says I'm going to listen anyway?

So I'm addicted to you
Enough to lose you in everything beautiful
You are the perfect drug
And I'm addicted to you.



Shadow Ocean
1997

Not a Band Girl

Take out your ad
              Replace me
                       in your life
Get your new band girl
Play without me
I never was a band girl anyway.



Shadow Ocean
1997

Day Without Sunshine

I wandered today
              Felt your shadow on my skin
The practice room was cold and dark
I couldn't look for fear of being alone.

I was lost today
The voices tried to break through
              And I almost let them

I would take your pain, your sadness
I would hold you close forever
I would find your star

The cold hard sun beats down
               Then fades away from view
Half of me is somewhere else
                I am not all here

You were gone today
The madness began to set in
               And I almost let it

I would take you from this nightmare
I would hold you close forever
I would find your star


Shadow Ocean
1997

Everyday Events

A frog
Caught by the tread of a passing truck
Is left rotting in the road
Until a car
Crushes its frail body
Limbs strewn across the pavement
To be washed away
With the next rain
Unmarked in life
Even as in death
One less voice in the multitudes




Shadow Ocean
1997

20 Minutes

Twenty more minutes on the cold hard ground
This was the wrong day
                  Every day's the wrong day
Why did you leave me?
They're staring at me from the windows
What is she doing?
I'm waiting for you
                   To make the minutes fly.




Shadow Ocean
1997

Quietus

For Edith Anne Ficklin Valburg, who lost her valiant battle with cancer at 8:10 AM on January 14, 1997.


Carried by the winds of the unknown
Lights of heaven falter in her eye
Far distant memories shatter in an instant
A pure recollection of sea foam and sunset
Sand castles and finger jello and wood-stoves
Gentle happiness and perfect love
Departed in a final breath
Only death can conquer death.

For warmth within a heart that knew no pride
A colder place awaits among the trees
For there is found none colder than the grave
So certain in the closing of our fates
From the parting bell with distant peals
The revenant tones echo in reply
And complacency fails in a final breath
Only death can conquer death.

Held in the hollow stillness of the night
Escaping to a dawn of empty hopes
The eyes of a mournful following are dried
A thousand times before their tears surcease
But this our tears could never leave in doubt
Nor shall words run dry from lips to ears
For when her life departs from on our breath
Only death can conquer death.



Shadow Ocean
1997

Vow

I will capture you
With words, with weaknesses
I will hold you
With tears, with tenderness
No one will ever hurt you
I will take your pain
Let me comfort you
Let darkness hold us both
I will protect you
With love, with silence
I will create you
With sunlight, with moonshine
Nothing will break you
I will be your fortress
I will shower you
With diamonds, with rain.



Shadow Ocean
1996

Victor's

Never was the sunlight more vibrant
                 than when it danced in your hair...
It is raining today
But the sun still shines in a dark corner of this room.

Your grey eyes smile at me
While the minutes tick away
Waiting for the bus to come and take us
               to our real lives.

But until then,
              some house tea
              a cookie
And sunlight in a dark corner of this room.



Shadow Ocean
1997

Two People

Think you're pretty fancy, do you?
In your fake red curls and purple pants
Golden vest and blonde in the flannel...
Who do you become
                    When you close the door at night?
Yes, I'm talking to you...
                     You just don't know it.
Think the world revolves around you
But who would notice if you disappeared?
Who will mourn you when you die?
Think you're an angel, do you?
When the Christian God calls, will you rise?
Or will you come back as an ant
                  On the pavement
Which I step on
Never knowing it was you.

Shadow Ocean
1997

Upon Leaving

Time is past
Leaving little but the remnants
Of your scent upon my fingertips
Sweet and dark and lingering

You are gone
I feel the gentle fever
Of the softly spoken memory
Of your touch upon my skin

Yet you remain
An afterimage of fading light
A reminder of the past
Though the light and heat be gone

Your voice echoes
Ever in my mind
In the fading of the summer
The ending of the song


Shadow Ocean
1996

Crash Burn

I don't know why you love me
I'm a nothing
Just a crash burn fallen star

Don't know why you need me
To make you lonely
A thousand miles from where you are

Take this love away from me
I shouldn't have you
I don't deserve you by my side

Crash, burn, slash and bleed
The sky is falling
And only I know why

Sparkle in the fading light
Feel the body heat
Move across a pulsing room

Every step I dare to take
Leads me closer
Ever closer to my doom

Don't know what I'm doing
I can't remember
How I let things fall so far

Don't know why you love me
I'm a nothing
Just a crash burn fallen star



Shadow Ocean
1996

Sad Vampire

You left your mark
Tear the flesh and fill my head
              with images of wilting roses...
I'm sorry she left you.
Don't cry, you look like you might
              need somebody to hurt right now.
I hope you find your light.
Find your way, fade into darkness with silver,
             a line of blue...
A single drop of red on your fingertip
             and death on your face.
Take it down, that bleach-blonde
              frames your face like sunlight never could.
Gentle, gentle, I saw the look
              in those pale blue eyes
                               like ice
You left your mark.



Shadow Ocean
1997

Golden

Golden is the light on your hair
In the glow of a candle
Golden are the shadows of the sky
At the end of the day
Broken are the dreams of the morning
As I wake to the emptiness
Golden is the pool of reflection
As the light fades away
Where are you going?
Take me with you when you leave...
Why can't I follow you?
What is there left to believe in?



Shadow Ocean
1996

Jazz

We
         can't seem to walk away
                            from it
Drawn
          to the complex rhythm
                           of Cuban jive
Rhythmic
            Alive
The cowbell
            Draws our feet
                                        Across the floor
The framework
             Echoes hollow
                                        Out the door
Calling
              to the night crowd
Wandering
               the empty night-lit streets
                                    in search
                of jazz and intoxicating beats.



Shadow Ocean
2001

Breathing

Breathing
                 In and out
The space
                A metaphor
                                   For the expanding
                And contracting
                                   Universe
                Which will someday
                                   Collapse
                                    In a cloud of smoke
Organic
            In its life rhythm
            Beating
                         With the heart that warms our glow
Notice
             The gentle exhalation
                         Which heaves
                          And sighs
              Content and constant
Unthinking
Instinct
               The body takes precedence
                              Over the mind
               The silent waft
                               Expels the residue
Absorbed again in the passing wind.



Shadow Ocean
2000

Winter Night

The North wind whips the frozen trees,
             The snows are on the ground;
The mirror of the solid lake
             Is cloaked with leaves of brown;
The birds have flown their summer nests,
             The gophers gone aground,
As flakes of white continue
             To fall without a sound.

How bare and still the world seems
             Beneath its veil of white;
How lofty are the treetops
             Which reach into the night,
How far away the moon is,
            Yet on the Earth, so bright
As on the ground, the snowfall
            Reflects the pale moonlight.

The North wind whips the frozen trees
           The branches nod their heads
And dream the dreams of coming springs
           Beneath their berries red.
Their thoughts to not belie despair
           Though all the world lie dead
They turn their minds to things reborn
            And all that lies ahead.
 

 

 

Shadow Ocean
2009

Lost Tales

Gone are the chivalrous courtesans
Gone are the heralds of old
They have flown on the cold winds of intellect
As the new age of prophets fortold

Lost is the sweet wine of romance
Lost are the banquets of fable
They are swept in the trash heap of progress
As a new meal is brought to the table

Deep is the well of antiquity
Deep are the waters, and cold
Bereft from the fires that warm them
Stagnant and layered with mold

The knights in their armor have vanished
The ladies who wait are all gone
They silently watch from their paintings
And echo their words in our songs.


Shadow Ocean
2009

The Sea

The sea
           Wanders in
                      Curls its fingers around a
                                       Yielding isle of sand
                                                                and reeds
                                                   The land
                                                               crumbles
A wafer in the toothless maw
                 of creation
                 or destruction
                 or erosion
The reshaping of the earth
                 with soft, liquid hands.


Shadow Ocean
2003

Thanksgiving

Symbiotic maismas
                 erupt
                                  over a turkey dinner
Gravy spills
                on the clean white linens
                                   of emotion
The cranberry sauce
                gleams red in the candle glow
Blushing furiously
                as the mashed potatos crowd
                                  the yams
                                  onto a reservation
                                  in one
                                   obsolete
                                                                corner
                                                                             of
                                                                      the
                                                                                 plate.



Shadow Ocean
2003

House of Learning

Take your mind
               to another man's mind
Knock softly,
                and enter with caution.
Believe that what he says
               is important
                                because it is important to him.
Understand
               how much more life has been lived
                                than your own.
Be grateful
                that he is willing
                                  to share that life
With your undeveloped soul.
Walk with gentle tread
                 when in another man's head.


Shadow Ocean
2004

New Beginnings

Give yourself
             the opportunity
                             to change
Look at it as practice
            on the way
                             to the stage
Why not take
           as much time
                             as you can
To perfect
            this visage
                            of a man
Give yourself
           the chance to
                           rearrange
True,
          you are the stranger
                            to yourself
Reassess
           the ways
                          you have not felt
Touch the ice
           and feel
                          the liquid
Melt
         against your
                    warm skin
Finding
         your beginnings
                     in its end

 

 

Shadow Ocean
2004

Moon Water

Sweet and liquid night,
           oil in a well of murky water,
           floating atop a thick and endless void,
A lack thereof.

A mossy lily pond,
            touched with tiny star-flowers,
                          opening and closing with
            the hours that transfuse
                          the night and day,
The clock of time.

Troubled is the breeze,
          a restless ripple
                        wakes across the pond
         or sky, was it a cloud?
                       or a shadow,
But those require light.

Moonlight, a reflection
          reflects again in the water,
                     a mirror to the sky,
          of images that falter to the touch.

 

 

Shadow Ocean
2001

Forest Drive

Down we go
Sweet and dark and winding
Through the trees
Sunlight flashes, blinding
Memories
Trip along reminding
             me of hitting bottom
Til I hit the curve, and climbing
I regained the top
            and glanced,
                           the hill behind me
At what's ahead
             where they will never find me




Shadow Ocean
2006

Could I

Could I forbid
          the sun from rising in the sky
Could I prevent
         the lazy clouds from rolling by
Could I deny
          the slow ascent of ancient trees
Could I impede
           the cultivation of the bees
Could I destroy
            the lifeblood current of the seas
Could I deny
            the earth which gives its life to me
Could I create
             or do my powers fade and wane
Could I repair
             or do my hands bring only pain
Could I become
             the missing piece to fill the hole
Could I forgive
             the selfish nature of the soul


Shadow Ocean
2007

Life Raft

Money cannot purchase
          what time cannot replace
Our flow cannot arrest the forward flow
          of time and space
The river channels onward
          Sweeping with it our debris
Washing silt and sediment
           away and to the sea
The lines spread on our faces
           unfettered by our minds
The more we tumble on the rocks
          the more we leave behind
As branches spread like fingers
          hanging over to ensnare
We linger towards the middle
          to ensure we make it there



Shadow Ocean
2008

Passion

If time placed in a box
          all that it deemed fair
I wonder if our passion
          would find a corner there?

Shadow Ocean
2007

Ridge

Traveling the edge
          of the ridge, or a bridge
Suspended in space
         our presence displaced
The brightness of our clothes
         brings a stillness to the land
Which we can never placate
         or begin to understand


Shadow Ocean
2008

Delight

Delight
             in light
For darkness has its charms
             and draws you in
And light must die for darkness to begin
But do not assume
             the darkness holds no light
We cannot trust our hearts to tricks of sight

Delight
           in night
For evening brings a blanket
          full of holes
And embers simmer hot beneath the coals
But do not fear
               the moon will light the way
The meadow lark begets the song of day

Delight
         in sight
For darkness blinds our senses,
          makes us wary
And night is long upon the open prairie
But do not think
        that light has dimmed the stars
We are too small to realize where we are


Shadow Ocean
2009

Transition

Dimming
             in the West
The rosy glow
              evades the chill of night
Lingering
               a parting kiss
                                  on the belly of the clouds

Somewhere
              far below the curve
                               of the horizon
A new day begins
                Dewdrops cry for joy
                                 upon the land

 

 

 

 

Shadow Ocean

2007

Coming Of Age

Coming of age
           is not something that happens
                          when we turn sixteen
                                        or eighteen
                                                       or twenty-one
It is not attained by puberty,
           or marked
                          by our first sexual experience
                                      or culminated
                                                      in our first encounter with love
It is not echoed
           in the blush of the bride
                          who knows that later
                                        she must bite her lip
                                                     to provide the blood
                                                                of her ill-begotten innocence
It does not glimmer
           in the vague, uncertain tears
                          of the boy soldier crouched
                                         beside his fallen enemy
It is not imparted
           in the dying breath
                          of a loved one glowing
                                          in a sweaty hospital bed
It is not an age
                but a moment
Untraumatic,
               unannounced,
                               perhaps unnoticed
Which tells us
                that age is coming.



Shadow Ocean

2009

Forget

Don’t love me, I don’t want it now

You can’t just jump up

            And expect me to have waited

I’m gone now, I’ve gone on my own

You can’t just turn around

            And love the one you hated

I moved on, I’ve been strong

What makes you think

            That you’ve been missed

But still the words pour forth

Come back, from the one

            You never kissed

But I forget

I do anything I can to forget

Go away, I can’t ignore this

Bleeding anymore,

            Please let me forget

I’m going down, I’m what I dread

Don’t let me die,

            Don’t go away

Damn this noise inside my head!

Let me forget

 

 

 

Shadow Ocean

1994

 

Falling

Falling down in a dream

Never knowing where I’ll land

Sliding through the shadows

Reaching out to hold a hand

That disappears, as if a vision

In my dream like misty morning

Trying to make the right decision

Lights are flashing like a warning

But I’m still falling in my dream

Knowing if I hit the ground

I’ll never wake up, so I scream

And shatter the dream with silent sound

Shadow Ocean

1993

It Comes Together

I watched the light reflect upon the tear that never fell

            But glistened there upon your face

I heard the music you would never hear for you are deaf to all I say

            Lord take me from this place

I danced among the trees you’ve never climbed and never will

            For climbing leads to falling in the end

I walked hand in hand with many, met their strong demands

            But found not one which I would call my friend

So I watch, I listen, I dance, I pray,

Still I say, it comes together in the end.

I sat with you ‘til morning and I prayed with you for something

            But I don’t deny, I wish to start again

Still I say, it comes together in the end.

Shadow Ocean

 1994

This Life

This life has no meaning

It is just an endless dream

Living, loving, dying,

Bursting at the outer seams

Dancers telling hopeless stories

Poets writing sonnets

Flower in a flower garden

Insect buzzing on it

Death and life are all the same

We are not meek or divine

Forced by laws which we imposed,

Menace, can’t you read the sign?

Red, the blood that martyrs shed

Orange, the sun that lights us

Yellow, the stars that pierce the night

Green, the envy that fights us

Blue, the ocean in its glory,

Purple, the color of love

Black, the night that kills the shadows

White, the mourning dove.

Silver is the cloudy lining,

Gold, the color of the kings

Peach, the color of my skin

What’s the color of anything?

This life has no meaning

We are just a mass of cells

Calling on each other

In this land of living hell,

This life has no meaning

It is just an endless dream

Living, loving, dying,

Bursting at the outer seams

Dancers telling hopeless stories

Poets writing sonnets

Flower in my flower garden

Insect buzzing on it

Death and life are all the same

We are not meek or divine

Forced by laws which we imposed,

Menace, can’t you read the sign?

We are all a hopeless people

Falling under a dying sun

This life has no meaning

Unless you give it one.

 

 

 

Shadow Ocean

1993

In Your World

I’m talking to myself again

But no one cares

They’re just caught up in their own little worlds

As I am in yours

My eyes deceive me again

But no one knows

Nobody sees me in their own little worlds

As I long to be in yours

I say goodbye and walk away

But no one notices

I almost turn around, or stop to say…

But no one would hear me

Am I talking to myself again?

Does someone care?

Is someone as caught up in my little world

As I am in theirs?

Shadow Ocean

1994

The War Letter (WWI)

Dear Mother,
I long to come home
But I know that I cannot
'til the cries fall into silence
and the trembling of the earth subsides.
I no longer
Can gaze upon a sunset
As the colors hold no beauty
And the red becomes blood in my eyes.

Dear Father,
My tears fall in the dust
of a cold, unfeeling land that for glory
took the lives of a million, save one.
My brothers
lie before me while their sisters
Weep at home for the tomorrows
Which now will never come.

I remain
Silently watching over them
Singing nameless tunes of glory
Which no one else can hear
While the banner
of unshakeable German pride
is shaken now at last
and lies before us in the mire
of a thousand miles of blood and tears.

Shadow Ocean 

 1993